Of all the loves in my life, my friends have always been my most significant of others. Friendship lifts me higher than I could ever dream of going, and makes my life richer than I ever could have imagined. Our omnipresent media is obsessed with the “true love” trope, but I have found that a true friend will always be as, if not more, important than a significant other.
The most pivotal and grounding moments of my life have been those that I experienced with a good friend. While I do not seek to tear romantic love down, I do urge you to make sure your friends feel loved and appreciated as well! This is a love letter to my closest friends. I challenge you to paint all of your friendships in the same light this year, and realize the importance of your platonic love stories!
The One Who Grew With Me: This is the friend who has never failed to push me to believe in myself. I have grown alongside her, and couldn’t (and wouldn’t) pick a better lifelong friend. I remember getting my first lead role in my high school’s production of Brigadoon, which I never would have gotten if this friend hadn’t pushed me to audition. Being by her side throughout our formative years has made me into the person I am today. Without her sense of humor, intelligence, and loyalty, I don’t know where I would be. She held my hand when I got my first tattoo -- a cat and moon on my thigh, dedicated to my father -- and talked me through the fear. She never fails to amaze me with her strength and courage. When she shaved her head a few months ago to find her own sense of beauty outside of the norm, I was right there to make sure she knew how beautiful she was the whole time. This blog is dedicated to her unending and enthusiastic friendship of ten years.
The One Who’s Basically My Sister: In my first semester of college, this friend walked right up to me and started a conversation about a boy in our class. I slipped into that conversation like a pool of cool water on a hot day; it was as if we had known each other our whole lives. What should have been an awkward encounter felt like the most natural thing in the world. I realized I never wanted to stop talking to her. That was five years ago, and without her encouragement and passion for bettering herself and those around her, I wouldn’t have half of the confidence I do today. She has never hesitated to tell me the unfaltering truth, or give me the tough love I have needed more times than I could count. It is thanks to her that I was able to leave a terrible relationship three years ago and start down the path of self love I had neglected for so long. I love and admire her more every day. Her strength and seemingly superhuman zest for life will always be a blessing to my life. This love letter is dedicated to her unending ability to amaze me, my healthy respect for Libras like her, and everyone’s constant queries as to whether we are sisters.
The One Who Listens: He’s the male friend with whom there’s not a hint of romantic tension, and who doesn’t shy away from the hard topics like mental health. Around him, I never feel as though I have to laugh off the reality of my current mood. He has sat with and really listened to me in almost every cafe in my college town, never once sugar coating the issues we both face and always communicating honestly. It has been an honor to listen when he has needed me as well, and to laugh when we thought we never would again. I am thrilled to have found a friend to share nonsensical ramblings over cups of coffee and glasses of beer at any hour. Having someone who understands the quicksand of depression and refuses to feel awkward during the worst depths of mental illness has made my life so much richer. I am thankful for every pit he has kindly pulled me out of, and for every terrible joke we’ve made to get through the worst. Watching him find his passion in the craft of bartending has been an absolute honor, and his recent promotion fills my heart with joy. This blog is dedicated to his constant support, unending political commentary, seemingly endless knowledge of liqueurs, and ruthless wit.
The One Who Was There: The first Mother’s Day after my mother died was indescribable. I worked all day to get out of my head, but found myself sitting by the dumpster after my shift at the restaurant, trying to stifle my sobs. When she saw me, she simply sat right next to me on the dirt, said nothing because nothing could be said, and rubbed my shoulder. I remember her smelling like vanilla, despite having worked in the kitchen for a whole shift. Before then, we were coworkers who smiled at each other on the night shift. She became one of my dearest friends after that night, and I have come to appreciate her love for Panic! At the Disco (which almost beats mine), sweet dance moves, and unrivaled kindness. I will never stop rooting for her success in nursing school and her happiness. In fact, I couldn’t think of a better person to bring comfort to those in need. I am sure her aura and calming presence will be a soothing comfort to many during her life, of this I am sure. This blog is dedicated to her unabashed love for early 2000s punk music, her dancing, and her infectious smile.
The One Who Became The Best Wedding Date: This friend is the first I made my freshman year of college, and would eventually follow me to continue our adventures in a new city. It has been a privilege watching them grow into their gender identity, and an honor to be a part of their continued happiness as they figure it all out. They have helped me move more times than I can count, and offered a beautiful respite in Colorado all those summers ago when I needed an escape from the stresses of life. Our heart-to-heart about life and loss on the top of a mountain will remain one of my most cherished memories. Their outdated puns, addiction to flannel, unending love for their dog, and rapturous appreciation for the outdoors makes them a delight in my life. They became the best wedding date when my ex-who-shall-not-be-named didn’t show, and always knows when I need to make jokes to keep from crying. Of course, theirs is a shoulder to cry on when the tears do come. Without their humor, ability to find the perfect gift, and sense of style that rivals that of a model in a fashion magazine, my life would not be the same.
The One Who Lights Up the Room: This former coworker turned friend has a unique talent for telling the most insane stories as if they were completely normal to a group of strangers. She is the one who makes everyone laugh, despite the fact that she has her share of hardships. I consider it a privilege to get to listen to her problems and help her realize she isn’t alone. I am amazed by her creativity and the gorgeous jewelry she makes by hand. I will always hold her ability to be good at everything she does and make me laugh until my ribs ache close to my heart. When she sat with me beside my mother’s hospital bed, she still was able to make me smile. Here’s to the woman who seems like she has it all together. Although she always assures me she is a mess, I will never agree with her. She’s one of the most amazing people I have ever had the pleasure of knowing.
The One Who Has Been There For It All: I cannot forget the friend who has become my family. She’s the friend who has known me since I had an expander in my mouth and thought the bleached streaks in my hair looked good. Our afternoons after school would often find us eagerly awaiting the next Ray William Johnson video. For almost twelve years, I have watched her grow into the confident and selfless woman she is today, her patience and kindness unparalleled by anyone I know. No matter what I have to say, I know she will listen and give me honest advice. Here’s to remembering our hometown as it used to be, our countless games of Rummy, and always letting me sleep with her when I have nightmares at home.
These are love letters to the friends who have made my life special in its grandest and smallest moments. To the friends I have hugged, laughed with until I cried, shared meals with, and cuddled at all hours of the day or night. I challenge you to make time for your friends as often as you can. Whether you have one or dozens, they are all worthy of our affection. The platonic and true love of a friend is something to be celebrated, so let your friends know how much you love them. I know I will. In a society where the passion of romance is often valued over the steady, platonic love that shapes our lives, break the status quo. Hug your friends. Take them out to eat. Laugh with them until you cry, and make more memories with the people who love you unconditionally.
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